Levant Corner Store Was The Victim Of A Squat And Run
I could've used a line that rhymed way better with 'hit and run', but I figure that kind of language isn't appropriate in this format. But really, the headline says it all.
According to a Facebook post from the Levant Corner Store that I saw on a different page, someone went out back behind the store in quite the hurry apparently, and 'relieved' themselves all over the side of their shed. I use the term relieved loosely. I mean, I've heard the phrase 'shed happens' but this is taking that to an extreme.
But the folks at the store are ready to have their day of reckoning with this backside bandit. However, they also aren't looking to become stool pigeons right out of the gate. According to their post, all they want is for Winnie the Pooper to come back and clean up their mess, which is really not much to ask under the circumstances.
But they're also quick to note that they have some 20 cameras around their property, and it sounds like they have the poop-etrator on camera. They say they'll only release this footage if the person doesn't come forward and clean up after themselves. I mean, I'm sure the folks at the store would give them a plastic bag to clean it up. Or a hose.
But really, this one line from their post just about sums up the whole kerfuffle:
Consider this your 48 hour notice to get your behind back to our store and clean up the mess you made or we’ll post the video to help identify you. I’m sure you don’t want that on FB as much as we don’t want poop on our shed. I’m not kidding. You don’t need to come in...JUST CLEAN IT UP.
Of course, they included a photo in their post. I will save you the trouble of that visual. But really, Prince/Princess Charmin may want to go in and own up to his/her nasty transgression, or run the risk of having the store out you for a pretty heinous crime. Granted, no one was hurt in this crime, but someone definitely needs some Immodium.
The lesson here... it probably would've been less embarrassing in the long run, to just keep it in your pants. Even if it's poop.