Ever have one of those days, where you think you've seen every silly thing the internet has to offer? My jaded self feels that way fairly regularly. Then I see a photo like this, as I'm aimlessly scrolling through Facebook:

Photo: Aunt Marty's Original Nosewarmers vis Amazon
Photo: Aunt Marty's Original Nosewarmers via Amazon

Two things immediately went through my mind. 1) These are so ridiculous, I'm not even sure where to begin...2) I hope my wife doesn't see this, because I very well may end up having to be seen out in public with her while she wears this thing. Hahahaha.

And a lot of folks I know are likely to feel the same way I do. I get it, my nose is always cold half the time, but I don't know if this would actually keep my nose warm, or if it would just become a cold weather snot-pocket? Which would be gross. Because for real...snot smells awful. The fact that I know this is a whole other story all on it's own, but it has a rancid scent all it's own, that I don't feel I need a little wool basket to keep it in.

That said, if you did want one, they are reasonably priced at $9.95+ shipping at Aunt Marty's Nose Warmer Amazon page. So for a few bucks, you can kiss cold noses good bye forever. You'll just also happen to look like half a pink spider is living on your face. But hey, whatever keeps you warm!

At any rate, don't listen to me. I'm just a cranky, old jerk who likes to ruin fun things. If a nose warmer is your jam, then let your freak face fly!!! I mean...flag.


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