There’s A Good Reason I Totally Ruined My Wife’s Zoom Meeting With F-Bombs

It all started when taking my dog outside.

It was the last day of real vacation. We all know the weekends on either end of a vacation doesn't count. So in my mind, it was all downhill from there. Although, to be honest, I'd just come off a successful rock camp this week and was feeling pretty darned good. I even said as much out loud. In other words, I jinxed myself, haha.

When I got home, my pooch needed to get out to do some business, so I took him right out. Being summer in Maine, horseflies are everywhere. When I take my dog out, it's an immediate battle to avoid them. Plus, they seem to loooove swarming around your head. So when one flew into my eye, I took a swat at it.

For some reason, this one bit me wicked hard.

When I went to flick it out from under my glasses, the bite the fly gave me was a bit over the top. In fact, it hurt like a son-of-a-you-know-what. I managed to get the fly between my fingers, and that's when I realized I'd bumped my head on a hornet's nest hanging from a branch in my driveway. The little turd had stung me right in the corner of my eye.

Then I took another sting to the shoulder. So I took off running into the house with the dog, filling the air with a veritable rainbow of colorful language. After about the 39th F-bomb at nearly the top of my lungs as I came in the door, I realized my wife is on a Zoom call for work.

Also, look at the size of the nest. It ain't small. I put my hand in for scale.

Needless to say, she hopped right off that call.

She figured out real quick I needed a little help. I had one hand shoved into my eye trying to deal with the searing pain of the hornet sting, and the other holding the dog's leash, and not knowing which one to let go of in the moment. God lover her for figuring it all out so fast.

So yeah, needless to say, she had to touch base with a few people and explain why I was yelling the F-word waaaay too loud for someone trying to get work done in another room. However, I did soak that nest in about half a can of Raid. Bye-bye hornets... They had it coming...

SINCE WE WERE ON THE SUBJECT OF DOGS...