Your kids.

Print this, give it to them, have them rehearse a little bit, and then...Showtime.

You will need to rehearse your drum rolls and cat calls.

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?  He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?  A Christmas quacker

What goes 'Oh, Oh, Oh'?  Santa walking backwards.

What do you call a broke Santa Claus?  Saint nickel less

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?  Nothing, it was on the house!

Why does Santa enter through the chimney?  Because it soots him.

What was Santa's favorite subject in school?  Chemis - Tree

How do you know when Santa's around?  You can always sense his presents

How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas?  They use Santa-tizer.

Remember kids, hold back one of the jokes for the encore I'm sure you'll get.

And if you are asked to do a second entire set, check for more material here.

It's 2020, so much is different, here's to doing the best you can with what we've all been dealt.  Find joy in everything you can this Christmas, and on into the New Year too.

Light Up Eastern and Central Maine

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