Allen’s Coffee Brandy Smells Like a Hungover Hipster’s Breath

Someone needs to teach this TikTok home sommelier how to drink Allen's Coffee Brandy, because his method didn't do it justice.

My son Dan sent me this YouTube video, from one of his favorite TikTok posters. Prescott Vanmeyer III calls himself the unemployed wine guy and posts reviews of everything from alcoholic beverages to mouthwash. I enjoyed the video, and found him to be very witty and well-spoken.. However, he has a lot to learn about the champagne of Maine.

A friend sent Vanmeyer a bottle of Allen's Coffee Brandy that apparently sustained some damage in shipment. It surprised me that he actually deducted points for the appearance of the container. Really? I guess if the liquid did overflow in transit, that doesn't speak well for the security of the seal, but still. The bottles I see lining convenience store shelves all look pristine. Don't fault the product because the lack of cabin pressure caused an eruption.

He then proceeds to treat the brandy like a fine wine. He starts by inhaling the odor, likening it to coffee that's been on the burner too long. Then Vanmeyer pours it into a snifter (okay, it is brandy, so we'll let that go) and inhales the odor. My favorite comment was the title of this article, that it "smells like a hungover hipster's breath at Starbucks in the morning." Okay, I'll give you that one. Very funny and, actually, pretty accurate. He also likens the sweetness of the brandy to a Stephen King novel, all "dark and bitter."

The overall rating? 34 out of 100. He originally gave it a 39, then deducted 5 points for the damage to the label, caused in transit. But I disagree with that assessment. Coffee brandy was not meant to be tasted like a wine. It's not a stand-alone drink. Mix it with some milk and then tell me it's only worth a 34. Better yet, mix it with ice cream, milk, and whipped cream and then tell me it's not the best milkshake you've ever had. Mr. Vanmeyer, you wouldn't put ice in a fine wine, so don't insult one of New England's favorite beverages until you've tasted it as it was meant to be enjoyed.