Do We Need to Go Teach Southern Mainers How to Drive At Walmart?

How come so many people hit the poles at the Auburn Walmart?

For real... Every time I turn around lately, there's a new story making the rounds about someone hitting that stupid pole. And it's happened more than once. Probably more than twice. I even saw that in Biddeford, someone hit the stop sign there. There was even extra yellow markings on that too. What's going on in Auburn and Biddo?

Is it distracted driving? Is it OUI? Does someone need to enter the Bidde Ford Clinic for some rehab? But there've been 3 instances, at least, in the last couple years alone that make me wonder if they can drive. I've often said, never mind the Massachusetts folks, Mainers are iffy drivers at best, in reality. I know that's a controversial opinion, but I stand by my statement.

Auburn has definitely had it the worst.

That poor yellow pole in Auburn has not only been hit once, but twice. They even went so far as to pull the pole out of the ground and replace it, likely because it had been hit so many times. But ask yourself real quick, when's the last time you heard about a car nearly going upside down around here?

How many times has the pole been hit in Bangor? Or in Brewer? Or even Newport? None that I'm aware of. Even with all the tourists in and out of Ellsworth, have you heard of the poles in their parking lots getting slammed by cars? Nope. I'm starting to think we need to go down to Southern Maine and teach some remedial driving.

The only real issue I see with that, is none of care, hahahaha. Why would we help out when we can sit up here, pointing and laughing? Tell you what... we'll come help out with the driving and parking thing, when you decide to.... Awww... Who am I kidding? We'll never come help. You're on your own.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANY ACCIDENTS AT THESE COOL DONWEAST GENERAL STORES EITHER...