Normally, I'd never discuss bathroom stuff in such a public forum, but I witnessed something at work that makes me question everything about my co-workers. I went into the lavatory for just a quick hand-wash, and saw it staring back at me, quietly mocking me even. The toilet paper was hung totally upside down, with the tail coming out from the bottom.

I was absolutely aghast. I just stood there, wondering what type of heathen would dare commit such a sin against nature. How could this happen in modern society? I thought everyone "got the memo" that there's only one true way to hang T.P. on a roll. And people ... this ain't it.

This is never a battle at home. Ever. It was discussed very early on when my wife and I were still dating and getting ready to move in together. I half-jokingly said that if she was an "underhand" toilet paper installer, that it might be a deal breaker as far as the two of us getting a place. Luckily, she was totally on the same page. And if not, she did a great job of lying to me and adapting to a new way of life all these years.

Now, in case there's any internet tough guys out there that care to dispute the way it should actually be placed on the roll, check out the original patent drawing for perforated toilet paper on a roll.

Google Patent Database
Google Patent Database

Clearly, It's always been intended to be hung in proper "overhand" fashion. All you reverse-hanging-naysayers can stop all your belly aching right now. You've totally, unequivocally lost this argument, and it's time to take losing in stride.

There. I feel like I've done a major public service today. This is the sort of thing that keeps me awake at night. You can keep your political discussions and such. this is a real world problem we all face every day, and I feel I've now done my part to end this sad technique that has been ruining lives for years.

Just remember, you're either part of the problem, or part of the solution. And mankind only needs this kind of paperwork done one way. The right way. Join the revolution now.

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