The Perils of Having a Mustache in Maine

Q106.5's beloved and very talented Jordan Verge has made the bold and intrepid decision to sport a mustache (or moustache, as we have recently learned that both are correct spellings of the word) for the very first time.

While we support Mr. Verge in all of his endeavors and exploration into different looks and styles, we equally feel that it's important to address the inherent dangers of wearing a lip caterpillar in a state like Maine. Yes, we mustache the question, why is a moustache so dangerous? Let's shave some time and get right into it.

Your Maine Mustache Might Get Mistaken for This Poisonous Caterpillar

Browntail moths are all over Maine and very much resemble a moustache with their brown bodies with white streaks, orange dots and thin poisonous hairs. Those hairs can cause poison-ivy-like rashes and breathing problems in some people, according to the Maine Department of Agriculture, Conservation & Forestry.

Do I think that Jordan Verge's mustache will magically turn into a poisonous mustache? Absolutely, not. Let's not be ridiculous. What I know is that there is a real abject fear toward these rash inducing caterpillars, and I know several people, including myself, who would smack the place opposite to Heaven out of Verge mistaking the freshly minted lip broom as a Browntail. And that smack ... must-ache.

Your Maine Moustache Turns You into a Beast, and That Might Not Be a Good Thing

What man doesn't want to be a proverbial beast? One who eats steak, swoons women with his intelligent, wit, and brawn, and yes, his mustache, too. But if you look at the calendar, we're in hunting season. As a new 'beast,' with a new mouth brow, you probably aren't trained in the extra precautions necessary to remain safe during a hunting season in Maine.

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Now you are walking around looking like Sasquatch wearing dark colors because you think your face lace looks best when complimented with brown or black attire. You aren't wrong, but you are also in a precarious situation when walking around Maine during hunting season.

How Else Would Having a Mustache in Maine be Dangerous?

Share your answer on the Facebook post below, or click here, and we will share them on air.