Would Paul Bunyan Have Any Amount of Game On Tinder?

Isn't life in the digital realm grand?

Honestly, I'm kind of glad I got married almost 20 years ago. For a thousand reasons. But even though online dating was a thing back then, apps like Tinder and whatnot didn't exist yet. Heck, iPhones weren't even a thing yet. But today, that sort of digital introduction to romance is practically commonplace now.

So I got wondering, what if Bangor's most eligible bachelor had his own Tinder page? Paul Bunyan stands guard over the Queen City with his regal countenance. But, look real close, his little grin has a low-grade sketchiness to it that makes Brawny look like a bushwhacker than a lumberjack.

He is quite possibly Jason Mamoa's father, amirite?!

Most women in my life seem to regard Jason Mamoa as a mythical creature in his own right. I mean, I think any dad that cranks up Pantera with his kids and takes them to Anthrax shows is pretty cool. But side by side, you have to admit it's at least plausible. If Jason is truly mythical, it would explain the uncanny resemblance.

But most of all, I'd think after all these years, he might be getting lonely. I mean, he's been in that one spot since 1959. And let's be real.... he hasn't aged a day. As we're edging up on Valentine's Day, it seems like we should acknowledge that maybe Bangor's dad needs love too. So read on to see if you, or anyone you know, might wanna help out old Paul.

KEEP READING FOR THE HEARTFELT, IF NOT CRINGEWORTHY, PICKUP LINES FROM BANGOR'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR.