The 10 People You’ll Encounter on Halloween
Halloween is the best holiday around, hands down. Why? We get boatloads of candy for free, we can dress up as Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson and no one will bat an eyelash. Is there anything more magical than parading around in ridiculous garb and entering sugar coma after sugar coma? No way!
But before you embark on your Halloween night adventures, get familiar with a few common spooktastic characters. Some are A+ adorable while others are straight up terrifying, but we’re giving you fair warning-- these are the 10 people you’ll encounter on Halloween.
The Ridiculously Cute Kid
The excitement of trick-or-treating kicks off with that first doorbell ring. When you open the door, you’re greeted by the world’s most adorable itty bitty princess or little dude in a Spidey suit that’s way too big to actually fit. This Halloween character is an early bird when it comes to the trick-or-treating game, because bedtime is at 7:15 and mom and dad need to get the kiddo back home. The ridiculously cute Halloweener dooms us candy-pawners for the rest of the night, because we can’t help but want to give them over half our candy stash. You go enjoy those 57 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, you little munchkin!
The purpose of Halloween changes as we get older, especially when we make that awkward transition from childhood to good ol’ adulthood. Say hello to the inappropriately-dressed teen. This hooligan is right smack in the middle of cutesy costumes and the land of shorter, tighter and barely-there, so sure-- a little confusion is expected on her end. She doesn’t want to be a fluffed-out Big Bird, but it’s socially unacceptable to be Sexy Big Bird at 15. What does she do? She goes for the latter. Parents everywhere are eyeing up this Halloween rebel. Also, creeps.
If you’re a candy-hander-outer, things are going quite swimmingly after the ridiculously cute kid pays you a visit. Unfortunately, the candy-demander is right behind the munchkin, and he brings a stench of trouble. A seemingly polite “trick or treat!” starts off the exchange, but then he goes into “smell my feet, give me something good to eat!” You’re feeling a little generous after that last visitor, so heck-- why not give him a handful of candy? Then the ungrateful kid starts to whine and demands more candy. Is this troublemaker serious? Manners kid, manners.
The Overprotective Mom
Moms can sometimes be a tad overprotective, especially when it comes to their kids getting candy from anyone but her. “Where did you purchase this candy?” “Can I examine these chocolate bars before you give them to my kid so I can be 100000% sure they weren’t tampered with?” Woah woah woah, lady-- we’re innocent partakers in this candy-giving game. While we completely appreciate the fact that you want your child to be protected from stranger danger, we’re dressed as a Disney character. No criminal action here.
The Screaming Baby
We love miniature munchkins! But of course, there always has to be a screaming baby in any public situation. Where they come from, no one knows. In this case, said kid is probably screaming and crying because mom and dad went a little Halloween happy and dressed him or her up in something totally embarrassing, like a tiny burrito. Listen parents, sorry to crush your Halloween dreams, but the little baby just wants to go home, eat some mashed peas and sleep. No more of this trick-or-treating shenanigan.
The Clever Couple
Halloween costumes can go in tons of different directions, from cute to inappropriate to very clever. The most creative garb usually comes in couple form, so the costume gets a little more complex. They also tend to throw us into a question-filled frenzy, because we want so badly to figure out the costume ourselves. “I see you’re a big green ball, but he just looks like a massive string bean. What are you supposed to be? Wait-- don’t tell me. Are you… OH you’re a pea n’ a pod! Now isn’t that just precious!” It’s Halloween geekery at its finest.
The Guy Who’s Too Old to Be Trick-or-Treating
This character usually comes in the form of a middle-aged man of questionable nature. There are many reasons he’s grounds for major suspicion. First, what is an adult male doing in a massive bunny suit? Second, why is he alone? Maybe the dude’s being super dad and sucking it up for the sake of getting his kids candy, or maybe he’s just a Halloween superfan. We’re sure he’s a nice guy, but either way, he just gives us weird man chills.
The Granny Who Gives Out Pretzels
There are few worse things on Halloween than getting anything but candy as a treat. We’re talking about popcorn, cheese crackers and, the biggest offender, pretzels. But when said snack comes from a dear old granny, heck-- we can’t seem ungrateful! She’s simply delighted to have so many visitors, and we can’t kill her Halloween buzz. Granny has no idea pretzels are among the most uncool foods to pawn out on this holiday, but we can’t let her find out; she’s way too cute.
The Super Scary Halloweener
October 31st is the one night a year when dressing up like a half-alive zombie with a gross alien crawling out of the stomach is socially acceptable. But that doesn’t lessen the scare-our-pants-off-and-then-some terrifying factor that’s involved. We see the costume and instantly let out an involuntary body spazz or sudden shriek. We can’t help it! It’s not everyday we see realistic blood and guts and gore, so what’s a fellow Halloweener to do? Run. Run away from this person as fast as you can, because the line between reality and costume play runs very, very thin here, and you don’t want to be caught in a scuffle with this character. Ohhhh, no.
The Costume-less Candy-Seeker
When it comes to Halloween, there’s one major rule all participants must follow: if you want candy, you have to be in costume. It’s basic courtesy, right? Not according to the costume-less candy seeker. This clever guy thinks he’s way too cool to be dressing up as Honey Boo Boo Child or Potato Jesus, but it’s simply unacceptable. Don’t be a Halloween party pooper, you party pooper! Slip on a glitzy dress, gain a Southern accent, and carry a pot of “sketti” -- you’ll get candy from us, and we’ll all have a grand ol’ time.